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Oct. 26th, 2005

Got another job rejection in my inbox this morning, if you can call it that. It sounded more like they forgot that they had a listing posted and had already filled the position.

I've been trying to get in touch with one of the people who I spoke with last week. The one who suggested that I call him this week, obviously. He is a difficult man to reach! I keep getting his assistant, who I keep asking for tips on when to try again.

Did I mention that I hate the city? I don't know how it's possible, but this big city is the loneliest place that I have ever been. I keep telling myself that I'll change my mind when I get a job, but that just doesn't seem to be happening.

A couple of people have suggested waitressing in the meantime, which makes sense since that is one job around here that is abundant, but I'm really avoiding that. I'm a klutz and I take things too personally -- not the waitressing type. I would sooner return to my previous job. I keep putting off finding interim part-time work. I am somewhat afraid that I might just give up on the career-level job search if I do that. Part of me is also starting to cling to my cell, here. I rarely leave at this point.

My bank account is now to the point that I can't touch it or I will go below the minimum balance. I can't believe this. Just a few months ago, I had so much saved up. I was paying for Josh's stuff, and that has totally reversed. Now I can't even afford to go visit my family.

The annoying thing is that I am kind of losing faith that I will find something. I have to push myself to search the job listings and type up cover letters.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 26th, 2005 02:59 pm (UTC)
i actually understand all of this 100%.

(except the hating nyc thing. if nick gets a job there ((likely)), the city sounds like a great idea in theory, but something i'd ultimately grow to hate)

lauren. i know you, and if you must take a retail job, do not become a waitress! nothing good could come of that! when i moved to sunderland, i had to basically lose all humility, and take a job at cvs, just so that i could survive, and here i am. still with a B.A, and still underemployed.

and yes, i've always had to push myself to even write the resume or teh cover letter, because i'd end up getting too depressed to do it.

and the bank account. yes.

i really do wish i had something more to tell you. i don't. hm.

nick and i had a huge discussion about things like this, and i basically said, "i think you'd be better off without me. you're going to resent me, beause you'll always be the one supporting me, since you'll be making so much more money than i ever will"

he was absolutely shocked, and said that that would never be an issue, though of course i would and will feel gulty about it. it seems like i feel guilty about most things.
Oct. 26th, 2005 04:20 pm (UTC)
Wow, I didn't realize that you were referring to NYC specifically, I thought it was somewhere upstate.
In some ways I really like the city, and I think that when I actually have some $$ I will be able to enjoy it a bit more. Actually, one of the things I really look forward to is meeting people at work so that I actually know people around here. It is ridiculous how lonely I am here, especially with no cash to go and visit anyone out of the city.

Yeah, waitressing seems like it would be a nightmare for me.

Ugh, the guilt thing.

That's what has hit me more in the last month, as Josh has had to gradually pay for more stuff. He gets annoyed by the fact that I am running a tab for all of the stuff that I owe him, but if I don't pay him back it will eat away at me. I hate to even borrow money, so there's no way that I can just let him pay for everything.

Hey Sprint, guess who may come crawling back...
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


DaturaFae (DharmaChick, Lauren, Lau...)

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