February 17th, 2002


"one is the lonelinest number that you'll ever do... two can be as bad as one..."

The room is cold and empty and my pillow smells like him.

Josh and I had a wonderful weekend together, but I always get depressed when he has to leave.

"One more semester..." Gotta keep telling myself that, even though I'm not sure where I'll really be once I'm done with school. Four years of this long-distance stuff can really wear on you.

Anyway, the good thing is that we had a great time while he was here. We couldn't have Valentine's Day together, but that's nothing new because we've never been able to see each other on that day.

He got here fairly early on Friday and brought me a beautiful rose, which is now in a wine bottle standing on my desk.
My roomie was gone for the weekend, so had the room to ourselves, which was very nice. We watched movies and I made dinner for him. I always enjoy cooking with him. I don't know why, but I always find cooking together to be rather romantic. Sappy, I know...
Yesterday I made cookies and we went shopping. We had dinner delivered and had a bit to drink. We didn't do much, but it was lovely to just relax and be with each other.

He should be back at his school any minute now. Then it's back to talking over IM for however-many weeks till we get together again. Oh well.
"one more semester..."
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    Filter - One (X-Files Soundtrack)
Lil Blue Fae

"i've got no motivation... where is my motivation..."

i don't want to do homework
i'm sick of it
i can't focus on it, especially when I'm tired and overworried about everything
i doubt this should even be my major
i have NO interest in it (at least not the parts that they focus on here)
damn, i've wasted so much money on this sh*tty place, hundreds of miles from Josh, when I don't even like the what i'm doing, or the majority of the people here.

aren't mood swings great?
I'm such a whiny brat. I could have gotten off of my lazy ass and changed things, but I was too scared.
Stupid, stupid, stupid me.
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    Green Day