May 20th, 2002


I'm back!!!! (did you miss me??)

I have come to realize that I haven't updated this thing in months, which is very unlike me.
Things have been really busy for me this past semester. I had a full course load, a radio program, an internship, and theater performances (including the lead in our children's theater run); not to mention my trips to Amherst to visit Josh.

Senior week was this past week and graduation was this Saturday (greeted by rain, sleet, hail, and snow in May, no less...). It has been an emotional rollercoaster.

Anyway, there is SO much that I want to type, but I don't know where to start at the moment. I think I will sit down tomorrow and write a book of memoirs of college. Perhaps jotting it all down will be soothing because having all recorded may ease the feeling that I am losing it all.

I'm already planning a get-together for this summer. I miss my friends already. Perhaps I will have a grad party after I finish up my extra semester, in January.

For now, I really need to attack these piles of boxes and bags from school and get them unpacked...
  • Current Mood
    nostalgic nostalgic
Lil Blue Fae

"feeling old by 21, never thought my day would come..."

never before has that line rang so true...

Graduation arrived out of nowhere, flashed before me, and sent my friends away.

It seems so strange that college came and went so fast. It feels like I should still be a sophomore or a junior, certainly not a graduated senior with one extra semester remaining. As much as I bitched and whined about how I wanted to transfer, I don't know how I woulod have dealt with that either. Perhaps that is why I never left -- the friends and the familiarity.
As much as I love new things, I am a creature of habit and rely on familiarity -- I get lost and depressed without it. I really don't handle change well, and however much I have ever complained about any of my friends or housemates it's going to be so hard not having them with me all the time. I grew very much attached to that close community environment.
Those 4 years rushed by WAY too fast. I feel old.

When I was a child, I used to pray, almost nightly, that time would slow down and that I wouldn't have to grow up very quickly. My parents called me Peter Pan. I must have really screwed up or something because not only were those prayers not answered, the opposite has happened -- everything is moving too fast.

While at school I would often wish that things could hurry up so that I would be done with the schoolwork and I would be closer to when Josh & I could live together (we still have a year or two before we can do that-- he still has a few years of school left.).
I prefer the wishing.
  • Current Mood
    uncomfortable uncomfortable