October 26th, 2005

purple

(no subject)

Got another job rejection in my inbox this morning, if you can call it that. It sounded more like they forgot that they had a listing posted and had already filled the position.

I've been trying to get in touch with one of the people who I spoke with last week. The one who suggested that I call him this week, obviously. He is a difficult man to reach! I keep getting his assistant, who I keep asking for tips on when to try again.

Did I mention that I hate the city? I don't know how it's possible, but this big city is the loneliest place that I have ever been. I keep telling myself that I'll change my mind when I get a job, but that just doesn't seem to be happening.

A couple of people have suggested waitressing in the meantime, which makes sense since that is one job around here that is abundant, but I'm really avoiding that. I'm a klutz and I take things too personally -- not the waitressing type. I would sooner return to my previous job. I keep putting off finding interim part-time work. I am somewhat afraid that I might just give up on the career-level job search if I do that. Part of me is also starting to cling to my cell, here. I rarely leave at this point.

My bank account is now to the point that I can't touch it or I will go below the minimum balance. I can't believe this. Just a few months ago, I had so much saved up. I was paying for Josh's stuff, and that has totally reversed. Now I can't even afford to go visit my family.

The annoying thing is that I am kind of losing faith that I will find something. I have to push myself to search the job listings and type up cover letters.
love

(no subject)

I feel like I could lay in bed, or here on the futon/sofa for a month, just hiding under the blankets. Maybe with a book. Maybe with a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Maybe just with my thoughts.
I'm not sure if it is depression, the change of the seasons, the frustration of the job search, a glitch in my system (my 'girly cycle' is way out of whack again), or all of the above.
This is not making it any easier to accomplish anything.
  • Current Mood
    bored bored
love

yes, I need a job because these little things are the highlight of my day

ok. weirdness.

I'm sitting here, pretty much in silence, typing away and doing some job hunting... when I hear someone outside yell, quite clearly, "Lauren!"

Now we live on a very quiet street (especially for nyc), and aside from the occasional ambulance (we live near a hospital) and car horn, we don't really hear much from outside.

So I realize that it is pretty damn unlikely that it is anyone referring to me, as I know probably 2 guys in the city and it doesn't sound like either one. I look out the window anyway, out of curiosity, and don't seeing anything odd, but as I walk away from the window I hear it again, loud and clear.

This other Lauren needs to answer this guy, because he's creeping me out.

Other randomness: While I was looking out, I noticed this black cable/rope that is hanging down from somewhere above us, next to out fire escape, then further down, beyond my view. I wonder what it is and why it is there. More importantly, can I snip it? :P Yes, I am bored.