DaturaFae (DharmaChick, Lauren, Lau...) (daturafae) wrote,
DaturaFae (DharmaChick, Lauren, Lau...)

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"Crawling in my skin, these wounds - they will not heal..."

"Fear is how I fall...
Confusing what is real..."

I am afraid of the world and I am afraid of my own creations. I often wonder whether my opinion of myself relates at all to other people's opinions of me. I continuously hope that their view is more positive than my own...

"There�s something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending..."

I want to be perfect, and yet I know that is impossible. This envitably breeds a strong sense of self-hate. I even find flaws in my strengths, which leaves me with nothing...

"I can�t seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
-Without a sense of confidence, I�m convinced
there's just too much pressure to take...-
I�ve felt this way before
So insecure..."

I'm aware of who I have been, I have ideals of who I wish to be; but for now, I am completely lost. I desperately desire immediate repair. I know, "change takes time"... But I always feel that I am running out of that resource...

Life without regret is a dream that I don't know that I could ever accomplish. I don't believe that I could ever love myself... There is always something else that I "should" be...

"Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, reacting...
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It�s haunting..."

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