DaturaFae (DharmaChick, Lauren, Lau...) (daturafae) wrote,
DaturaFae (DharmaChick, Lauren, Lau...)
daturafae

  • Mood:
sometimes i wonder if i am bi-polar, or some milder version of being bi-polar...

This idea first crept into my head a few years ago when a few of my friends (from different groups of friends, at various times) told me outright that i must be bi-polar or have some sort of mood-disorder.
I am starting to believe it.
Well I have always had the tendency to slip into random depressions. I have always known that, and it frustrates me so much that it makes them a bit worse.
Sometimes, however, I can really look back a see a distinct period of mania and another of depression, often with no logical connection.

Today, for instance:
It was my first day back at work and it went very well. There were reps from 3 other companies, but I sold 8 times as many phones as those 3 reps combined. My high sales caused me to win a sales contest within my own company and I won a gift certificate for a restuarant. Everyone at work was friendly and happy, I had a great day. I was so happy that I was gushing to everyone about how happy I was. I wouldn't shut up about it, I was gushing about the stupid phone sales to everyone like it was the greatest accomplishment ever. I was happy when I got home. I had a delicious dinner and a yummy dessert. I got a bit tense and moody, but not too bad.
I got together with Josh and I was very happy to see him. He had made double chocolate cookies and we ate some with a huge glass of milk and snuggled up to watch tv.
Then came the waterworks (from no-where)...
I don't know what provoked it, but I started getting really depressed. I started crrying about nothing and whining about everything. Nothing could make me happy. I was upset about everything, couldn't decide what I wanted, and everything seemed an absolute misery.


Now I'm back home and none of it makes any sense.
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 2 comments