My apologies to the comment delays and such.
The decision has been made...
well, at least the NY vs MA decision.
Josh got the job in NYC. He starts June 13th.
We moved out of our apt on Saturday, put most of our stuff into storage, and we are now back our respective families' houses.
(random tangent: There was a beautiful rainbow on our drive back to Dartmouth. Actually, there were three rainbows: two were kind of intersecting and one was parallel over them. One of them continued literally onto the road. As in, the road was multicolored and we were driving through the rainbow! It was very pretty and really strange. My mom called me on my cell from their car and said that it must be a good sign that I was making the right move. We saw another rainbow on the following day. It was a complete rainbow and you could see you could see the whole thing from our back window. I got some pics of that one and maybe I'll post them later. I haven't seen one in years and within two days I've seen four.)
Josh is around until his job starts. He will probably be staying with his friend in NY for a couple of weeks because I doubt we will find a place that will let us start our lease in the middle of the month.
So, that means that I will probably be here for a full month. Unless I miraculously find a job in NY sooner than we find an apt, in which case I have no idea where I would be staying anyway.
How do I feel about all of this?
I am relieved that Josh has a job. Of course I am petrified because I had job leads in Boston, not NY. And I have no idea where we are going to be living.
I have a phone appointment with career services from my college tomorrow afternoon to find out how they might be able to assist with my job search.
The more I think about it, the more I don't want to move to NY. It's just causing so much anxiety for me.
I was so looking forward to being near some of my friends again in eastern MA. I have been so lonely following around Josh. Granted, I am terrible about keeping in touch with friends and making plans to get together and I've been on a bit of an anti-social bent lately. I guess I (hopefully) will use this month to catch up with all of them.
I really didn't want to work in NYC. I do love that city -- to visit -- but it just doesn't seem like the best place for a perpetually anxiety-laden girl.
Oh well. I really didn't want to be the reason that Josh turned down a job that he really wanted.
Who knows, maybe NY will be a great move. And if not, Josh's job allows him to transfer to any other branch after a year.